


4 Types of People Who Watch Pretentious Movies

by sarcasticsra



Series: After Hours Ficlets [2]
Category: Cracked.com, Cracked: After Hours
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-08-24
Updated: 2014-08-24
Packaged: 2018-02-14 13:55:36
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 400
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2194254
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sarcasticsra/pseuds/sarcasticsra
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“I can’t <i>believe</i> you guys,” she says, outraged. “You didn’t even watch the movie, did you?”</p>
            </blockquote>





	4 Types of People Who Watch Pretentious Movies

**Author's Note:**

> Why are these weirdos so much fun to write? Goddamn.

“Please tell me you understood the movie’s overarching message? The last scene made it obvious. Well, you know, not _obvious_ ,” she says, smiling conspiratorially, “you had to be paying attention. But you got it, right?” Katie gives Dan an expectant look.

“Right, yeah, the message, right, which… you know, I’m not sure I really agree with it, to be honest.”

Katie narrows her eyes, looking at him suspiciously. He seems evasive, and he’s making even less eye contact than usual. Something’s clearly up. “Really, Daniel? And what message is it, exactly, that you didn’t agree with?”

“Uh, well…”

“The message the movie had. Obviously,” Soren cuts in.

“About the, uh—thing. The main thing. I didn’t feel like it lived up to its own message within that… thing. You know?”

Oh, for the love of—“I can’t _believe_ you guys,” she says, outraged. “You didn’t even watch the movie, did you?”

“We did!” Dan protests. “We watched it last night!”

“Oh,” says Michael, like something is obvious, even if it’s usually only obvious to him. “They got bored halfway through and started making out instead.” He pauses, nodding. “Yeah. Yeah, I get that.”

Katie scoffs. “No, they could not have gotten _bored_ —” At the guilty look on Dan’s face, she stops, turning on him. “Seriously, Dan? You couldn’t keep it in your pants long enough to watch the entire movie?”

“Look, I’m sorry! Okay? I really am really, really sorry. It’s just… this movie was oh _god_ so boring, and, well, I mean… just… _look at him_.” He gestures helplessly, indicating Soren, who smirks.

“ _Thank you_ ,” Soren says, preening. He squeezes Dan’s shoulder, which makes his ears redden.

“Oh, I am,” Katie says bitterly. “I’m looking at _both_ of you. Betrayers. These men who hath forsaken me, these men I called friends—nay, brothers!”

“Are you—are you referencing something from the movie right now?” Dan asks, blinking.

“If you had _watched it_ , maybe you would _know_.”

“So… next topic?” Michael asks. “We could talk about—” 

“No,” she says. “No. We’re leaving right now and going to Dan’s place to watch the movie. He and Soren are sitting on opposite sides of the room.”

Dan looks bewildered. “Wait, what, why my place?”

She stares him down. “Why, Daniel? Do you have a _problem_ with that?”

“…no,” he says quietly, looking down and not meeting her eyes.

“Good. Now let’s move.”


End file.
